Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home.
Matthew 1:19-20
This isn’t the post I was working on last week before I realized it needed more time. I’ll come back to that one when the readings lend themselves to the ideas and experiences I was wrestling with. This week, I’d like to sit with Joseph, as the Gospel reading, Matthew 1-18-24 invites me to.
Joseph is caught in the middle of what must have seemed like a huge no-win situation. The woman he intends to take into his home as his wife is carrying a child, and he isn’t the father of that child. I imagine Joseph thinking he should divorce Mary because all the evidence—except for I imagine what she’s told him about the visit from the angel — says she’s been unfaithful to the covenant made between him and her father. If the usual explanation for Mary’s condition is the truth and not the explanation she has given, the Law says Joseph has a right — and is probably expected — to divorce her.
But we’re told Joseph is a righteous man. Given this information, I like to think that his internal comes not only from not wanting to expose Mary to a public disgrace that might result in her being stoned. I’d like to think that deep down, he’d rather not divorce her quietly. Really, he’d rather not divorce her at all. I imagine him having had such high hopes for the future of his marriage and family. I imagine he cherished Mary’s deep love for God, her family, her friends, and her village. I imagine him having trouble believing Mary would betray that love and fearing that Mary’s pregnancy has come about as a result of violence on the part of an occupying soldier. (I don’t think I’m the first writer to put these thoughts in Joseph’s head. I think the movie The Nativity Story depicts him asking Mary if a Roman soldier is the father of her child, but I could be thinking of a different adaptation.) I imagine him thinking that if Mary is a survivor of such violence, who knows how the trauma has changed her. No wonder she’s not making sense. Maybe her mind is telling her this story about a visit from an angel because she blocked out what really happened. If this is the case, he wants to offer her and her child the shelter of his good name and his home even more than he did before he found out she was pregnant.
This train of thought leads Joseph back to the reality that people will talk. No matter how he handles the situation, people will talk. The life of a workman striving to nurture and to support a godly family was always going to be challenging. No matter what choice he makes, he now knows that his life will be exponentially more challenging than he thought it would. This situation is an invitation to be more concerned with living righteously than with worrying about offending the sensibilities of influential people.
These are all thoughts I imagine cycling through Joseph’s mind before the angel enters his dream. And then what does the angel have to say to him? “Do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home” (Matt. 1: 20). I’ll continue by paraphrasing Mathew 1:20-24: “Mary hasn’t broken any covenant. The child she carries was conceived by the Spirit of God and is the Son of God, God with Creation.”
The angel’s message lays to rest Joseph’s doubts and calms his fears about what has happened to Mary. In other words, he has received consolation regarding troubling developments in his own life. He has also been chosen as one of the first to witnesses to the fulfillment God’s promise to send a Messiah.
Nonetheless, the angel’s message doesn’t promise that Joseph’s life will be any easier, thanks to his role in salvation history. He had to have wondered how he could teach the Son of God how to be a righteous man. He had to have wondered who would be the student and who would be the teacher, and I wonder if, on some level, he knew the answer was that he and Jesus would be both to each other. He had to wonder how people would accept a Messiah who had been brought up by a humble workman. I’m imagining Joseph wondering whether God would expect him to change how he supported his family so that the Messiah would be better prepared to lead his people.
The answer to this question seems to have been “No.” God is going to work through and to grow up with the help on the man who Joseph is. This process isn’t going to be smooth. The world that Jesus comes into — our world — is very broken by sin. And yet, God loves each of us as much as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.
In reflecting on this reading, I’m reminded that in becoming human, God didn’t end suffering. He entered into it and took it upon Himself so that it wouldn’t have the last word. Perfect love will. It’s a Love that doesn’t forget anyone. It holds close those who are afraid, ostracized, overlooked, ashamed, lonely, and vulnerable.
Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc. “Sunday July, 2 2023: Readings at Mass.” The New American Bible, 2001. Universalis for Windows, Version 2.179, Universalis Publishing Ltd., 26 Feb. 2023, https://universalis.com/n-app-windows.htm
Sitting with the Sacred 