This post is a continuation of my Lenten reflections on the Scriptural Stations of the Cross. The station titles and scripture and verse citations, except where otherwise noted, are published on USCCB.org.
Third Station: Jesus is Condemned by the Sanhedrin
(Luke 22: 66-71)
This passage reminds me that the prospect of getting to know God is scary because this knowledge beckons me into a relationship with God, one that once I enter into it, changes my perspective and asks me to change how I live. It also asks me to ask questions, the answers of some of which, I won’t like because they invite me to further change, and change can be very uncomfortable. It involves laying down things I carry as security blankets, things I’m more comfortable trusting in than God, things that offer immediate and temporary comfort. Change may also require me to pick up what I don’t want to carry — things that are painful now and that will offer comfort only later.
Jesus, help me not only to hear but also to trust that I’m hearing Your voice. Help me to follow Your voice or to stay where You know I’m needed. Help me not to fear the changes that serving and surrendering to perfect love allow but instead to hope in their positive potential. Don’t let my fear get in the way of Your perfect love. I know that, in the end, nothing I do can weaken the power of that love. Nevertheless, I want to magnify its power rather than make it harder to see. I can be Your magnifying glass by first receiving Your Love, and the extent to which I do that is up to me. Jesus, help me to be open to it. Amen.
Fourth Station: Jesus is Denied by Peter
(Matthew 26: 69-75)
It strikes me as I read this passage that while denying Jesus, Peter denies his own true identity and distances himself from a community that he needs and that needs him..
Jesus, when people ask me who You are in my life, and I deny how essential it is that You lived a human life and died a horrifically violent human death so that anyone who imitates Your human life can come to share in Divine life, I not only miss opportunities to participate in the sharing, I present myself as someone other than who I am. I lead a double life. I can’t be divided this way and live close to you or to other people because when I behave this way, I don’t let other people truly know me. I don’t let them know who I am in You. I can’t help build authentic community, community in which love and truth are inseparable from each other if I withhold my authentic self from others. However, not withholding this true self is always a struggle for me because rejection and embarrassment are always a possibility and a fear.
I’m employing the ” Litany of Trust” as armor to take into this struggle. I listened to it again this morning on the Hallow app. If you’re not able to access the audio through the previous link, here’s the text of “Litany of Trust.”
Thank you, Jesus for giving me examples of how to stand firm in who I am and for giving me an example, through Peter, of the consequences of losing sight of who I am, of doubting who I am, and of denying who I am in relation to You. Thank you for giving me an example, also through Peter, of the truth that my confusion, denials, and doubts don’t have to mean the end of my journey toward union with You. If I turn back to You when I realize I’ve turned away, I’m already moving toward you again. Thank you for forgiving me for denying you and my true self. Amen.
Sitting with the Sacred 