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Posts Tagged ‘Forgiveness’

Pondering What’s Left Unsaid

Posted in Lent, Reflections from Other Writers and Speakers, Reflections on Scripture, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2025| Leave a Comment »

April 6, 2025 Readings All in One Place:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/040625-YearC.cfm

Readings in the context of each Bible book:

  1. Isaiah 43:16-21
  2. Psalm 126:1-2, 2-3, 4-5, 6.
  3. Philippians 3:8-14
  4. John 8:1-11

What I’m saying (about the readings and beyond) this week:

I’d be a hypocrite if I wrote here as if the words of the epistle – any of them — could be my own. If there’s one thing it seems like I can never do, it’s “[forget] what lies behind [and strain] forward to what lies ahead” (Phil. 3:13).

So the approach I decided to take for this week is to focus on one passage. Meanwhile, the journaling prompts I responded to this morning me to consider my relationships. Wilderness asked me to return to the roots of what distorts my ability to reflect God. It prompted me to consider how those roots affect my relationships.

I responded that when I’m paralyzed and silenced by fear, I don’t give others the opportunity to receive grace from what I might contribute — regardless of whether my contribution is flawless. God is present in all circumstances, though two things are often true. The first is that God’s presence can be hard to recognize in the most painful circumstances. The second is that even if we recognize God in such circumstances, what we recognize may not take the form we’d like it to. We may not experience it in the way we’d like to.

When I’m paralyzed and silenced by fear, I also feel ashamed hypocritical, and frustrated by my invisible bindings, frustrated at not making myself seen and heard. I regret. Then I take my feelings out on the people around me, and the crack in the mirror through which I am meant to reflect gets God’s wider and longer.

What stands out to me from this week’s readings:

What stands out to me from this week’s readings is the gospel passage. What stands out to me within that passage is how little Jesus says to the woman who faces being stoned for being caught in adultery. I also notice how little the woman says to Jesus.

We also aren’t told whether Jesus knows that what the accusers say is true. We aren’t told that Jesus tells the woman he doesn’t condemn her because he knows she’ll heed his exhortation: “Go, and from now on do not sin any more” [sic] (John 8:11).

And yet we’re told elsewhere in Scripture Jesus knows things about people without those people revealing those things. The encounter with the woman at the well comes to mind as described in John 4:1-42. She tells everyone about him because, as she says, he “told [her] everything [she] [has] done (John 4:29). As is the case with the woman facing stoning, the text doesn’t tell us whether she ever went back to her previous life. Similarly, in the encounter in which Jesus promises to stay with the tax collector Zacchaeus, we don’t learn whether the tax collector keeps the promises he makes in public after he encounters Jesus (Luke 19:5).

But as I’ve written on this blog before, I heard somewhere that when a name is handed down through Scripture, it’s because the person was well-known to early Christians.

Fewer women are named in Scripture than men. But maybe the fact that the stories of the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery have been handed down means that these women were well known within the Christian community.

Or maybe we have their stories, though not their names or more about what happened before or after these encounters because the primary lessons we’re meant to take from them aren’t meant to be based on what they do.

The story of the would-be stoning is as much about the men who threaten to inflict the punishment as it is about the woman who would have received it. After all, the passage tells us the authorities bring the women to Jesus because they want to “test him” (John 8:6). He takes this test as an opportunity to teach them about mercy.

The encounter takes me think of Luke 6: 41-42:

“Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’ when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.”

It also calls to mind a line from the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” The key to not being condemned is not to condemn others. Even as I repeat this familiar message, it makes me ask questions:

  • How many cries for justice reveal not only the injustice that’s being called out but also the injustices committed by the person or people whose sense of justice has been violated?
  • How can I ask God for justice without condemning the person or people who participate in injustice?
  • How can I treat myself and others with compassion and humility without making excuses for the harm my choices and the choices of others may cause?

The limited instruction and the few words this passage contains are both an answer to this question and not very much of one. Maybe passages like this invite us to wrestle with the questions, to answer them as best we can and apply the answers as best we can to the situations we encounter. When, whether in the midst of reaching those answers or later on, we decide they’re unsatisfying, maybe recognizing our limitations and our dependence on God’s grace is all we can do.

What someone else is sharing about this week’s readings:

This week’s prayer:

Lord, help me to offer to others what I’d like to receive from you — forgiveness, understanding, and empathy. Amen

Works cited:

Garrett, Sr. Josephine. Wilderness Within. Kindle version, e-book ed., Ave Maria Press, 2024, A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Accessed 23 Feb. 2025.

“Fifth Sunday of Lent Year C— Lectionary: 36.” Daily Readings, Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 2nd typical ed, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2025, https://bible.https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/040625-YearC.cfm.

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Lost and Found in Scripture

Posted in Lent, Reflections from Other Writers and Speakers, Reflections on Scripture, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 29, 2025| Leave a Comment »

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Readings for March 30:

All in one place:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/033025-YearC.cfm

In the context of each Bible book:

  1. Joshua 5:9a, 10-12
  2. Psalm 34:2-3, 4-5, 6-7
  3. 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
  4. Luke 15:18

What stands out to me from this week’s readings:

At the end of the Old Testament reading, when manna is lost, “the yield of the land of Canaan” is gained (Josh. 5-12).

In the epistle, I read that:

“[W]hoever is in Christ is a new creation:
the old things have passed away;
behold, new things have come.

2 Corinthians 5:17

In the gospel passage, the younger son begins by finding what he thinks he wants and losing the satisfaction he gets from it. He responds by recognizing what he has lost — the experience of belonging to a family and being provided for by his father — and seeking to find these experiences again.

The father begins the passage by losing the portion of his possessions that he gives to his younger son as well as losing the presence of the younger son himself. But he never stops longing for that presence or loving his son. He rejoices in the son’s presence again when the son heads back to the father’s house.

Ironically, once the younger son comes back to the father, the return reveals distance between the father and the older son. By reasoning with the older son, the father does his part to find what has been lost between him and his first son.

What I’m saying (about the readings and beyond) this week:

I was away from the blog and from my journaling practice last week. My first impulse was to try to catch up this week so that I would finish all the journaling books by Easter. But I quickly realized I was getting further and further behind and that catching up catching this week was not a realistic goal. I also realized that if I managed to catch up this week, I might not reap the benefits of the prompts. I’d be focused on checking them off my list rather than on reflecting on what they invite me to reflect on.

So now my goal is to journal in the morning before anyone else gets up, for however long that amount of time is each day. Using this approach, I’m setting the intention of writing through my journaling books to their end, no matter how long it takes me to get there. I hate even to write “get there” because I don’t want to think of journaling as something I need to get done. I want it to help me grow in my relationship with myself, with God, and in my relationships with others. This isn’t a desire for one season. It’s the quest of a lifetime. I’ve let go of one idea and taken hold of another — lost one idea and found another.

This week, Wilderness Within invited readers to consider what sins they find themselves confessing over and over. What are the roots of these sins? Sister Josephine Garrett encourages readers not to respond with what they think is the correct theological answer. Describe the roots in your own words (91).

Here’s how I’d describe the primary root of choices I regret making: fear of discomfort, fear of rejection, fear of being alone. Fear.

Garrett also asks readers to consider how they feel before and after they sin. My answers are helpless and trapped and hypocritical. These are the opposite of liberated, open, and honest.

As I write these words, I’ve been tempted to end this section with my paraphrase of the prompt, but that feels like letting the roots grow deeper so that you don’t worry about me, attack me, or reject me. And letting the roots grow deeper isn’t what I sense is best for any of my relationships.

Also as I write these words, I feel nudged to allow a more relaxed publication scheduled for posts on this blog. Taking into consideration other writing-related activities I feel called to, I will publish this post and future posts whenever I finish them. This will probably make the posts less timely. Maybe I can figure out ways to make them less time-sensitive. Now I’ve written similar things in these posts before, so we’ll see what approach I ease into as I let go of another one.

What someone else is sharing about this week’s readings:

Sr. Lynn Marie Ralph, SBS, reimagines the “Parable of the Prodigal Son” as the “Parable of the Prodigal Daughter.”

This week’s prayer:

Lord, help me to discern what’s life-giving and lasting and to let go of what isn’t. Help me to seek and to find strength in you. Give me patience and perseverance amid the challenges of the moment. Help me to trust and to experience that You are the ultimate source of fulfillment. Help me to lay down fear and pick up faith. Amen.

Works cited:

Garrett, Sr. Josephine. Wilderness Within. Kindle version, e-book ed., Ave Maria Press, 2024, A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Accessed 23 Feb. 2025.

“Fourth Sunday of Lent Year C— Lectionary: 33.” Daily Readings, Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 2nd typical ed, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2025, https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/033025-YearC.cfm.

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Lessons in Love and Mercy: Embracing Divine Kindness

Posted in Ordinary Time, Reflections from Other Writers and Speakers, Reflections on Scripture, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Readings for February 23, 2025:

All in one place:

https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/022325.cfm

In Context:

  1. 1 Samuel 26:2, 7-9, 12-13, 22-23
  2. Psalm 103:1-2, 3-4, 8, 10, 12-13
  3. 1 Corinthians 15:45-49
  4. Luke 6:27-38

What’s the message I’m getting from this week’s readings:

. . . love your enemies and do good to them,
and lend expecting nothing back;
then your reward will be great
and you will be children of the Most High,
for he himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Luke 6:35

What I’m saying (about the readings and beyond) this week:

To the person who strikes you on one cheek,
offer the other one as well, and from the person who takes your cloak,
do not withhold even your tunic.

Luke 6:29

This verse stands out to me because, as I read it, I can’t help but think how it can be misused. It can be interpreted as telling someone got to protect him or herself from abuse. But I don’t think this is the intended message. The verse I chose to highlight in the first section is the intended message.

In the New Testament, Jesus sometimes uses figurative language and even hyperbole to make a point. Remember the instruction in Matthew 18:9. It tells us to pluck an eye out if it causes us to sin. Do we really think Jesus wants us to do this? I don’t think so. The point of those verses is to tell us to avoid what we know isn’t good for ourselves, others, and for our relationship with God.

Other ways to express this week’s message might be: Don’t retaliate. Don’t take revenge. Don’t take advantage of others. Don’t be selfish. Taking any of this advice is different from accepting abuse. David had the opportunity to retaliate in this week’s first reading. He didn’t because he wasn’t being attacked. If he been under attack, he’d have been within his rights to protect himself. He could defend himself and/or remove himself from the situation. People have a right to defend themselves and other vulnerable people in their care who are in danger. They also have the right to remove themselves and others from such situations.

This week’s readings remind us again of the difference between wants and needs. They advise us not to withhold from someone something he or she needs because we want it.

What someone else is sharing about this week’s readings:

Diana Macalintal’s reflection on the readings for February 23 is just what I need right now. I don’t think I’m alone in this assessment. She begins and ends her reflection with a personal story that involves her and her godson. I could picture the events unfolding as I read about them, and I found the little boy’s as well as Ms. Macalintal’s response so relatable. Click here to experience for yourself what I mean.

In Ms. Macalintal’s reflection, she also mentions details from the gospel accounts of Christ’s passion. These references remind me that I meant to wrestle with the events of the passion in the last section. I’ll just do that here instead of pretending I haven’t yet read her words.

So what do the events of Christ’s passion have to say about an individual who is having violence inflicted upon him? It’s an uncomfortable question because in the accounts of Jesus’ suffering and death, He doesn’t flee, and He doesn’t defend himself — not physically and not even verbally — at least not directly. I’m tempted to respond to these depictions with, “That’s because it was his mission and ministry to bear the consequences of our sins and weaknesses to the point of death so that these consequences might not have the final say in our lives and deaths. There’s only one Savior. To suffer and to die isn’t the mission of the rest of us.”

But isn’t it? At some point, in some way, just not in the same way Jesus did? No matter how much we try to avoid and resist it, life brings pain to us (along with pleasure) in many ways. Does this reality mean that to seek holiness is to seek pain? No, I think one understanding of what it means to be holy is to define it as being aware. To be holy means not pretending that what brings pain and what brings pleasure, what brings sorrow and what brings joy doesn’t exist. To be holy is to be awake, and to be awake is to be honest.

While I don’t have direct personal experience with the topic, it seems to me that forms of abuse are built on distorting who the people involved are. It seems to me that abusers operate under the illusion that they are entitled to more power than they actually are. It’s this sense of power that they crave. What gives them this sense power is making their victims believe their abusers have this power and making victims believe they deserve to be abused or that the abuse is somehow related to love.

In the passion accounts, Jesus never loses sight of who He is. He never agrees with what His abusers and attackers accuse Him of and say about Him. Rather, He asks His Father, to forgive them for what they do and for their blindness and ignorance as to what they are doing (Luke 23:34). He knows who really has the power during His crucifixion, even when he doesn’t feel that power accompanying him. Ultimately, He and the Father have that power.

When I think about the passion this way, I see it not as Him allowing himself to be robbed of his dignity and his life, but as Him giving us these two gifts freely. In His offering to us he shows the ultimate solidarity with every human frailty. He offers communion with Him to every human and to all of creation. I suppose having the freedom to do this is what gives Him the power to offer all the forms of surrender that Ms. Macalintal points to in her reflection.

This week’s prayer:

Lord, help us discern what we need and what we want we can better provide for others what they need. Also help us to pray for as we find it most difficult to pray for. Amen.

Scripture translation used:

“Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time — Lectionary: 81.” Daily Readings, Lectionary for Mass for Use in the Dioceses of the United States, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, 2nd typical ed, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2025, https://bible.usccb.org/bible/readings/022325.cfm.

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Wrestling with Why and How to Forgive

Posted in Ordinary Time, Reflections from Other Writers and Speakers, Reflections on Scripture, tagged , , , , on September 17, 2023| Leave a Comment »

This week’s readings:

  1. Sirach 27:30—28:7
  2. Psalm 103:1–2, 3–4, 9–10, 11–12
  3. Romans 14:7–9
  4. John 13:34

What this week’s readings say to me:

The theme of this week’s readings is forgiveness — how it’s God’s nature and why extending it to others is important. The first reading asks me a question: how can I expect forgiveness if I can’t forgive others, especially considering that they are subject to the same weaknesses I struggle with? The second reading offers reassurance, conveying that God isn’t like me. God is “slow to anger” (Ps. 103: 9). God doesn’t “requite us according to our crimes” (103:10). “As far as the east is from the west/so far has he put our transgressions from us” (103: 11). “[S]o surpassing is his kindness toward those who fear him” (103: 13).

Now I don’t believe in being asked to be afraid of God. What I am being asked is to recognize that I’m not God. God shares some knowledge with me, but not all knowledge. God’s ways are not my ways (Isa. 55:8).

The third reading offers a lesson in how to respond to this reality: remember whom you and everyone else around you was created in the image of — God. So I ask God to help that image be reflected in me. The result of allowing God’s image to be reflected in me would be living for God and for others in God rather than for myself. It would mean forgiving others because I want God to forgive me. And He does if I acknowledge my sins to Him. Doing so hands might sin-wounded soul over to Him for healing. Confessing my sins to someone who has been given the ministry of this healing helps me hand my sins over. I’m more likely to struggle with the weight of something when I carry it without the help of someone who is being God’s ears and voice. In the Gospel reading, Jesus tells a parable with a tough message for anyone who doesn’t approach the wrongdoings and shortcomings of others with God’s forgiving ears and voice.

Let’s see what someone else has to say about that message.

What someone else is sharing about this week’s readings:

Caitlin Morneau’s reflection reminds me that forgiveness isn’t something a person can snap his or her fingers and make happen. It takes a conscious decision to forgive, and then even once the decision to forgive is made, it takes time and effort to put into practice. Her perspective also reminds me that not being able to take that time and make that effort is a punishment in and of itself.

Beyond this week’s readings:

As I typed that last reminder, I wondered if there would be a way to reconcile it with the message of the Gospel reading. I had my doubts. I remembered the message of the Gospel reading being that I needed to forgive others as God has forgiven me, and if I don’t, God won’t forgive me.

I struggled with this understanding because I couldn’t make it mesh with the message I was getting from the psalm. I didn’t expect the tension I was experiencing from the struggle to resolve because, let’s face it, sometimes passages in the Bible just don’t agree with each other. Different scriptures were written at different times. Even within a single culture, understandings of God and God’s will evolve over time, and the differences between passages may reflect that evolution. Different books that are included within the biblical canon were also written with different audiences and purposes in mind. Some of them are poems; some of them are more like folktales. They have morals just like an Aesop’s fable or a Grimm’s fairy tale does. Others have more in common with legal documents than with a poem or a story.

So sometimes the differences between Scripture passages just are what they are, and I have to sit with the tension, the unanswered question, or the challenging lesson, and ask myself what words from a reading session stand out for me on a given day. I use the answer to that question to help me discern what God has to say to me at that moment.

Surprisingly though, when I went back to the Gospel after reading Caitlin Morneau’s reflection, the king in the parable no longer seemed as punitive. It isn’t the king who punishes the servant who doesn’t forgive the debts of others. Rather, the translation I’m using says that the king “handed [the servant] over to torturers (Mat. 18:34) What are the torturers? What is the debt but the effects of unforgiveness on the person who shoulders them?

Unforgiveness might be the sin I struggle with the most. In God I Have Issues: 50 Ways to Pray No Matter How You Feel, Fr. Mark Thibodeaux describes an approach he learned to use to free himself from the torture of unforgiveness:

Adapting the insights from a particular style of psychological therapy called Gestalt, I prayed in my chair with two other chairs in front of me. I sat Jesus in one of those chairs and my offender in the other. With Jesus present, I would say anything that I wanted to my offender. I might yell at him or curse him or tell him all sorts of despicable things. But at the end of my prayer time, I allowed both of my two guests to speak to me as well. At the end of our conversation, regardless of whether my heart felt it or not, I told my offender, “You hurt me, but I forgive you and I love you.” And one beautiful sunny morning, I said it and realized that there was no part of me that didn’t genuinely mean it, not even my heart!

loc. 1149-1157

A book I just finished, Things You Save in a Fire, by Katherine Center, offers other tips for practicing forgiveness:

“Just saying the words ‘I forgive you,’ even to yourself, can be a powerful start…” “Forgiveness is about a mind-set of letting go… “It’s about acknowledging to yourself that someone hurt you, and accepting that… Then it’s about accepting that the person who hurt you is flawed, like all people are, and letting that guide you to a better, more nuanced understanding of what happened. … And then there’s a third part… that involves trying to look at the aftermath of what happened and find ways that you benefited, not just ways you were harmed.”

112

I can imagine some people saying the above approaches and tips aren’t applicable to all situations, and I understand that reaction. All feelings are valid. It’s what we do with them, and what we let them do to us that matters. No one’s journey is exactly the same, and everyone’s journey unfolds at a different pace. However, these excerpts resonate with me. They’re applicable to my situation.

Lord, I invite you into the process of making these steps to forgiveness part of my life. Amen

Works cited

Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc. “Sunday 17 September 2023: Readings at Mass.” The New American Bible, 2001. Universalis for Windows, Version 2.181, Universalis Publishing Ltd., 8 Aug. 2023, https://universalis.com/n-app-windows.htm.

Center, Katherine. Things You Save in a Fire. Kindle edition, St. Martin’s Press, 13 Aug. 2019.

Thibodeaux, Mark E. God, I Have Issues: 50 Ways to Pray No Matter How You Feel, Kindle edition, St. Anthony Messenger Press, 2005.

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